The Telltale Heartburn

 There are those who can sing 

and those who are kneelers … they pretend they are praying to gods for their Bills or their Steelers

To the women and girls who make me beg to be lonely … the ones with the lawyers who can pay to be my only 

To the ones who take charge

And the one living large

To each picture you make

For each chest from which you take

I haven’t forgot

I’m just where you are not

And the day that you die

You’ll know someone who will cry

Let it be me

With no guarantee

Let your love 

Let it be me 

There are those who can’t sing … convinced their bell does not ring … brain washed to believe … you must marry to be wed and conceive … and there are those who conform without the right uniform … because the right war will bring … another living thing

Without a contract

The blues you bring will come back

So go forth and multiply 

You’ll just make one more cry

Let it be me

With less company 

Let it be me

Let your next love be me

The best propositions are overheard by each chief … every promise you make will turn each heart toward more grief … when your souls had enough you’ll just begin to devour … there’s no shortage of those sweet inside to turn sour

Move to LA

To get away from yourself

Go south to repent

For your love’s heaven scent

You own to charge others rent

Don’t say goodbye

Don’t look like you try

Don’t ever seem like you care

Don’t ever say that I told you where

Let it never be me

Let you never be me

Once you bite them you’ll see

That you will never be me

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Who Cares?

 Anyone?

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Am I - or these collection of primitive “poems”, if they can be called such - part of the problem?

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I am not asking for empathy, recognition or help. I think my poetry is garbage.  It has done nothing but bring more pain to those who don’t need it.

I still write. These things are puzzles. They still run around in my head. 

If no one can provide any proof of legitimate interest or evidence of any good this uneducated collection of words has a purpose, artistically, I’m just going to shut this piece of shit blog down in the spring, if not sooner.

Truly sorry.

Thanks for reading.

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A Girl Before

don’t get your hopes up, she warned me from the start • the only thing I had left to give her was my heart • I had never given in to complete devotion • though in my forties I had yet to give love a second notion

she told me she always knew by the look in my eyes • that every time I saw her I felt I had just won first prize • in those days I had to sleep in a cold dark basement room • I still let my hopes get up much too high too soon

every time I saw her I’d pick her up and spin • I know one day too soon I’ll have to take it on the chin •

 12/2023

No Will

no one will ever come back • they made sure to take the knife from out of my chest • so that she’d not have to twist it for the rest • swearing she’d lost all her old friends • everyone’s new beginning soon becomes my latest end 

the more I remember means the more I realize • what I thought was strange affection turned into future lies • every emotion has turned numb • when I was smart I was really dumb

no one will return • no one recognizes me for my face has now been burned • I look as if my face has been melted off • I quit smoking yet I’m still left with a cough • I quit drinking now I get headaches • all that life offers is one more girl who can fake

never again will I heal someone else’s pain • I know sadness is an act to trap me again • 

can’t read the rest 

december 2023

Worth Living

An irresponsible life

rarely comes with a supportive, devoted, loving wife • a model better unserved • dragging no one else down against her absolute unspoken last word

each abandoned plea • is a testament that there is no true love guarantee • only hunger remains • stuck in the chasm of mortal brains • what good would one more twist and shout • when all that’s left is a death nell pout

time is now not being kind to my most recent grizzled face • every scar on it was put there with grace • when comes the time to give it back or give it up • there will be no trading food for any grey trophy or golden cup

which means there is just one left grinning • to not recognize true love be the most grievous mortal sin • unspoken lies coming true • the focus of vampires and winners bear witness in full bloom

death is never heavy when it brings relief • no bravery too soon or too strong to shudder in callous grief • no castle rooted to its hillside no burden too great to bear • for the irresponsible life • only one left last will be standing there

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I have no idea when I wrote this. 

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