"..you sound as if you've been bee-TRAY-ed.."

In March of 2008, you had to remind me of that to which I agreed all along; that we would never be more than friends.

This is not a negative indication nor a derogatory statement of our past, present or future. On the contrary, because no one else in the whole world knows what I've been through the past eighteen months you are in league with everyone else who I consider my friend. Furthermore, being your friend is really the only thing you have ever asked of me.

So when you told me I sounded as if I had been betrayed you helped arrive at the full circle which you have long since completed. For the first time in six years, I told you how I felt without saying that is how I felt about you. And true to your word, you spoke to me as a friend would.

What does all this full circle stuff mean?

Two things:

1. I get it.

We both never fooled me into thinking we would never amount to more than this.
Don't get your hopes up was our mantra, our credo. For the first three years
I really believed that in the end I could handle this and I told you that I would.
And for the first eight years being your friend was, for me, the easiest, most
natural thing I could do for you.

2. This is cerebral; an intellectual attempt at emotional sanity.

Real love never dies. It has to be killed.

What I am really trying to say is that I believe you do not hurt me on purpose. Neither of us planned on me falling In Love with you (1999-2003). I thought maybe if I talked to you about when or why it happened that it would help me get over you (2003-2005). When that and everything else I was and wasn't doing failed to kill the pain in my heart I tried to bail on you (2006). And when I tried to get back the friend I lost it made everything I felt before even worse (2007).