Your Silence

your silence is all i have

i don’t even have drinking anymore

every effort i’ve made to reach out has been pulled under tow • never to be seen nor heard from again

all confidence. every hope. each memory turns up bloated and pale. 

when I saw you I felt so much joy that you healed. 

now i have no sun. 

like chemotherapy, the life has been burned out of me; from the inside. i am a cancer survivor unable to live. all taste and smell has been scorched from me. 

now i am faking life. there is no comfort zone. my heart doesn’t remember. my head lobotomized. i don’t get jokes. no one needs that. 

enjoy your new life. you’ll never be lonely again.