Being Nice

 was that you being nice 

you bought yourself roses and statues of ice

the church of you littered with petals and rice

crowded with friends who won’t give me advice

that was you being nice

without any goodbyes

swatting at dogs you keep for the flies

my strength do you saw fit to circumcise

feed me your silence to starve me with lies

cutting us with no goodbyes 

was that you keeping score

just as lonely with you now alone even more

making space for whom it was really meant for

making me leave by the window not the door

have you now evened your score

always been in control

eating the heart that you keep with my soul

digging my grave you said was just a hole

making me wait outside raining and cold

inside your fire burns wrinkles you fold

cursing me for poems that can’t be sold

affection you shower to grow your own mold

scrubbing your life from my stories you told

painting your diamonds so they pass for gold

good luck with your zantac throat when you get old

still always into control

needs to be cleaned but who cares 

9/16/20

.