Ativanation

 Making Amends . . .

. . . is the only way to make things right. 

except for those who are too good for such things. 

all I had were words

I cannot paint at night

never raised a hand

captured by fright

the loss of a sister and you

gives me no reason to see anything thru

a life with no meaning

for fear leaving a stain

do I not pull a Cobain

but your finger would I trigger such leaning

all I wish for now

is just to hear how

because I don’t think I’ll be strong enough to see

after five hundred days

since pushing me away

have I considered we’re not meant to be

maybe it’s best

to give into the pain from the chest

that comes not from you but to breathe

it takes one to know

from this I’ll never grow

my ‘ex’s rendered pointless to seethe 

not getting fixed to come back to you

 there’s nothing else I’d care to do

.

to be ghosted can be made a process

in the vacuum of joy that was you

the honesty implied

by not answering lied

how noble you sound

now that I’m not around

the nerve of no class

just sitting on his ass

already part of the world with no spare 

you’ve got proof that I did not enough care

the only one that could keep me from you • has yet to tell me that she is through • let her know when I’m fixed she said • while she stormed out to find the voice in her head

the only thing that will make me feel better is what will make me feel much worse

if you have a new love, just send me a picture of you both happy

it’s okay to gloat. because I am just a ghost. 

remember?

<insert jiminy cricket song here>

.