I have just realized it's a damn good thing I hear from you only once a month.
>> March 7
>> .. if you could at least tell him I send him well wishes.
>> You can tell him that I think he's a rockin' grandpa
I told him you said "Hi". He smiled and told me to tell you the same.
Five weeks later he died.
>> March 28 (reply to March 22 email)
>> I got your email! I'm sorry I just opened it now.
>> I will review more later and get back to you.
That's the email I told you about my blog and website.
I am grateful now you didn't notice then.
>> April 10
>> That's great! Isn't that a graphics program?
One of the things I miss most in other women is that they don't get it.
>> April 13
>> Aw shucks....(blushing). You wascal you. Right back at ya friend.
In response to me telling you I miss you more as a friend than an ex-whatever.
It's around this time I notice your voice, delivery and writing is different.
>> April 23
>> Keep up the good work and stay on the straight and
>> narrow.
I had put together twenty-seven days, fifteen days and a couple of seven-day-plus
strings of no drinking together in the first quarted of this year, Q4 last year.
>> The straight and narrow sounds boring but it
>> really isn't.
Being straight for so long made me so manic that my siblings wanted to admit me to re-hab
in November. The only reason they didn't? I was already going to where they wanted to
send me. I was going to group therapy in October and November.
>> It's actually quite fun and very satisfying.
Really?
>> May 15
>> Don't leave VeriSign until you've got a sure thing
>> lined up!
After telling you by phone I got the job at VeriSign, you told me "not to screw
this one up, too."
>> July 16
>> Did you purchase Aetna dental online?
>> Just curious. I do feel really badly about not
>> getting the info to you sooner.
Of all the years of underhanded compliments, dropping me off miles from where you
picked me up, leaving me at family gatherings, separate vacations, used Xmas gifts,
no Valentines Day cards, pointing out physical shortcomings, nothing compared to the
indifferent tone of your inffrequent calls, the anger in your voice when I called you
and the absence of anything relevant in said conversations.
I couldn't even hold your attention long enough as a prospective customer to send me
two pieces of paper.
Six days previous you sent me an email message telling me your email was down.
Five weeks after this you called but didn't leave a message. When I called the next
day at 7am, you said you didn't have time to leave me a voice mail. You didn't have the
time to finish the call you started.
This is the last time I heard the voice I remember before I got you to tell me that
you've been with someone else "since February..(serious) around July".
>> August 6
>> Sorry I didn't get back to you this weekend.
>> Life has been busy but good lately. This week
>> is crazy busy too so I probably won't have much
>> time to call you unless it's on the way to somewhere.
Thanks.
>> Sept 4
>> I have to tell you I realize how much I miss you sometimes....
Thanks.
By this time I resolved to quit being your Forrest Gump.
>> October 10th 2007
>> We can still be friends you and I. I hope we can.........
You can hope all you want.
Or we can be on friendly terms.
Or we can exchange cards in September. Or maybe we can do next September like all the past Septembers where I send you a card and you don't.
I have many unanswered questions about what happened or should have happened between us in the past fifteen months but now so much time and so many things have passed between us that it actually would take more time and effort to re-hash all of it than its worth.
So I offer to you the same as you've given me: another chance to prove the other is worthy of their friendship. I offer to you a clean slate, a phone smile and the same Susy hope to you as you have seen fit to bless me with: the Hope that Someday I will be lucky enough and good enough and skinny enough for you to actually consider me a friend as you may have done before.
