I Will

i can sleep

only when it’s warm

i can eat when it’s time for me to have food

i can dream 

of nightmares in time 

dead varmints are the only who are good 

i can write 

after i’m dead 

the only thing left killing me 

i can stay 

nowhere anymore 

no cigarettes coffee or tea

i can learn 

only from mistakes 

but can’t tell the difference from right

i can try 

by a jury of peers 

convicted by shadows at night

i can live 

with no one i know 

i can sleep when no one really knows

i can die 

but can’t go to hell 

i’m in no one’s heaven and it shows

i can send

no more messages 

the only means i have been allowed

i can mend

with needle and thread 

picking scabs that burst on all seams 

i can laugh 

at the demons in my head 

riding on nightmares in my dreams

this is about control 

i ‘m unacceptable

confused over one a one option choice

 just a kid that’s too old

there’s nothing about me 

that you really like 

this is all about control 

a full court with no strikes

i can care 

given time and tide 

nothing you forget you can forgive

i can wait 

for what will never come 

i can only sleep when it’s warm

every stairway that’s for sale 

is well above your price 

the check that’s in the mail 

is worm food for the lice

~summer of 2018